Facebook Groups Open Our Eyes About Chile

(All photos, and their captions, were submitted by members of “Pray for Chile” Facebook groups.)

Santiago, capital of Chile, before the earthquake struck.

Philanthropic Facebook users have once again sprung into action. With the earthquake in Chile, thousands of warmhearted social networking folks are able to prove their warmheartedness by joining one of many “Pray for Chile” groups. These groups are a lot like the “Pray for Haiti” groups, but with more Chile, less Haiti, and an even greater difficulty in locating this month’s devastated country on a map.

Chile is almost as poor as neighboring Mexico.

And Chile certainly needs the well wishes of American internet addicts. Santiago, capital city of Chile, is, of course, a glorified shantytown of ramshackle houses, raw sewage, and South Americans, as Facebook informed us. But hey, Chile isn’t America, nor is it a country in Western Europe, so it’s probably just like Africa, only with less black people. (According to many Facebook groups, Africa is also a country in desperate need of Facebook groups; several Facebook users are hoping for an earthquake or two in Africa, because “Pray for Africa” groups show everyone how much the Facebook user in question cares for the less fortunate.)

Lib Porn contacted a few Facebookers who were some of the first warmhearted Samaritans to send relief to Chile via prayer, group membership, and, in some cases, Twitter updates. These users had just looked up the term infrastructure on Wikipedia and, after they found the term confusing and complicated, concluded that Chile had none. The seemed to think General Pinochet was kind of a dick, though. One Facebooker promptly created a group to urge Congress to intervene on behalf of the Chileans and remove this vicious dictator from office.

Despotic ruler of Chile, General Pinochet.

Lib Porn, after extensive Facebook searching, have discovered that Chile is indeed a squalid mess. While we unfortunately believed, prior to the spontaneous outburst of “Pray for Chile” groups, that Chile was actually a well-developed country and economic power in South America, thousands of Facebookers provided us the knowledge that Chile is little more than an open sewer full of MS-13 gangbangers and leftist death squads, much like the rest of South America, Africa, and certain neighborhoods in East LA.

Yet we can’t help but think that we American Facebookers must do more for poor, impoverished, third world Chile. Certainly, we must post even more well wishes for the social and economically backward Chileans. It’s a known fact on Facebook that American prayers and social networking groups have three times the positive impact on third world natural disaster victims than any other white country, and certainly more impact than those of piss poor South Americans (few of whom have ever heard of electricity, nor do they have power outlets in their shantytowns and, thus, they can’t register on Facebook).

If we all pull together and join enough Facebook groups, Chile will persevere!

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