Coulter: Extra Cunty

Apparently, courts are for commies who hate America.

Ann Coulter is basically a cartoon character, along the same lines as Rush Limbaugh, just an ugly attention whore who often tries to one-up herself in regards to the disgusting shit she says any time someone gives her a chance to speak her misbegotten mind. Sort of like Wile E. Coyote, whose ridiculous attempts to catch the Road Runner got more ridiculous with every try (the road runner, in this comparison, would most likely be common sense, logic, or intelligence). Normally, sane individuals don’t pay attention to Coulter for this very reason. But now and then, the notoriously unpleasant cunt bubble blurts something that the New Right (Tea Baggers, Beck groupies, racists posing as “anti-socialists”) applauds. And that’s scary because the New Right, so unlike the current left, actually seems capable of getting some shit done.

Yesterday, the leathery fascist posted a commentary that denounced lawyers who take on “unpopular” clients. This backward outburst from Coulter stemmed from, as she put it, a few “conservative lawyers” who denounced Liz Cheney after she demanded the names of Justice Department attorneys who formerly represented Guantanamo detainees. In other words, the soulless conservative lawyers were absolutely right in calling Liz Cheney an idiot, citing American lawyers’ oft-forgotten tradition of defending clients that the mainstream would rather see beaten to death with American flag poles.

We’d tell you more about the beef between said conservative lawyers and Liz Cheney, but that isn’t our point. Our point is that Coulter goes on for two pages smugly dissing the vampiric bastard lawyers who spring to defend “unpopular” clients who, we admit, usually do so for attention and, eventually, cash. Coulter reinforces her public image as a vociferous fascist dicksuck by using snarky, beloved-by-Tea-Bagger rhetoric to demean the most important part of our nation: our courts.

To Coulter and those who share her outlook, those who aren’t ‘real’ Americans or, worse, not American, don’t deserve a fair trial. Hell, from the sound of it, Coulter doesn’t think they deserve a trial at all, as if the detainees at Guantanamo weren’t even human. This wouldn’t be so sickening if many of the Guantanamo detainees weren’t, ya know, just regular dudes who were jailed on a whim.

Basically, Coulter and her ideologically fascist dickhole pals seem to hold the highest ideals of the American experiment in contempt. If you ask them for justification for the war in Iraq, they’ll say, “Well we didn’t find WMDs, but we’re bringing democracy to those backward camel herders.” Yet when it comes to the pillar of democracy, a fair legal system (or at least as fair as the American legal system is right now), these fuckers like Coulter prefer a more draconian approach. And we have to ask, if we decide to deny the barest of civility to dudes who we may have locked up accidentally, how long will it take for this fuck-the-courts mentality to trickle down to American citizens just because the defendant is “unpopular”?

America can be sexy as hell. We’re a nation that promises cash, Ipods, Xboxes, and big tits. But these trinkets don’t make America America. In a world of retards, America has, to many ends, acted less retarded than many other nations. Hopefully we can keep it up, because as awesome as money and big tits are (especially when they’re packaged together), Americans should stand for much more than that.

If only this broad was a judge...

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