Devout Christians don't approve of this photo. This is the main reason we're not devout Christians.
“A conservative may tell you that you shouldn’t make fun of cripples. A liberal will tell you, ‘You can’t make fun of cripples’.” — P.J. O’Rourke (paraphrased)
After reading over that quote from Mr. O’Rourke, who happens to be one of three funny conservatives on the planet, I found myself wishing that conservatives still adhered to that idea. They don’t, not anymore. Mind you, I’m not a conservative; I guess I’m a liberal, albeit a liberal who hates other liberals. Political correctness makes us sick. It’s backward, un-American censorship that pussifies our country with nancy-pants, passive-aggressive, thinly-veiled totalitarian speech control that, we at Lib Porn believe, contradicts the most badass Amendment in the Constitution.
Liberal censorship comes in the form of multicultural wishful thinking that totally pretends that Americans don’t harbor racism and, consequently, nobody can make a joke about minorities unless, of course, the insulter is a minority himself, which is pretty retarded. Furthermore, politically correct liberal censorship won’t do a damn thing to cure top-priority racial problems, like institutional racism and economic inequality. Because, really, if minorities were as prosperous as white people, racism would be a non-issue. Nobody would care, especially minorities, at least not the rich ones. And as everyone knows, the only people who really matter in America are rich people. Yes, we also think that racism in speech is totally stupid, but a white guy who makes a disgusting and stupid joke about a black man shouldn’t lose his job (and vice versa) if no real harm is done. Also, remember that sometimes good people can make mistakes, especially when they’re trying to be funny, or in Mel Gibson’s case, totally plastered.
As annoying as liberal political correctness is, it has been absolutely beaten out by conservative censorship. The FCC, Morality In Media, and Focus On The Family try their very hardest to make sure nobody makes fart jokes that include Jesus or sneeze in the general direction of a nearby American flag. Normally, we at Lib Porn wouldn’t care so much, but we are very fond of big boobs, and the conservative wackjobs are once again attacking boobs with unrelenting annoyingness.
"Why do Catholics hate us so much?" asked the boobs.
Morality In Media, a douchebaggy organization that tries to promote, uh, morality in media, tries to pretend that it isn’t a religious group. Except that it is, because it was founded by a Catholic priest by the name of Morton A. Hill who took it upon himself to inject…um…more morality into our media. I guess that would be okay, except that the morality Hill wanted to inject was a Catholic morality, and Catholics, at least the most prominent Catholic loudmouths, hate it when they see big sets of knockers (or gay people, or strippers, or anything interesting) on television.
MIM recently got really, really mad because GoDaddy.com, a large website hosting company, has paid to have their “indecent” commercial aired during the Super Bowl.
Because, ya know, there are never any hot boob shots during the Super Bowl...
The ads feature no nudity, only hot girls dancing around a little bit because most guys who want their own website rarely see attractive women anywhere else. MIM President-slash-head douchebag Robert Peters has accused GoDaddy of trying to advertise “Lesbian strip performances”, which is wholly untrue, for if GoDaddy had such an ad, I would not have posted this article, as I would have been busy watching said commercial over and over again.
Now, the main difference between liberal PC censorship and its conservative equivalent is that the liberals kind of have a point. Destructive, racist language is bad. Any idiot knows that, even if we have a Constitutional right to say whatever we please as long as it doesn’t incite violence toward others (as in how a leader of a rabid mob may face charges if he fires up the mob to go lynch some poor bastard, even if he takes no direct part in the violence). Also, racist language is a symptom of a greater racist problem, namely America’s love of kicking minorities around for no good reason. While we at Lib Porn disagree with many tenants of political correctness as a whole, we understand where they’re coming from and at least their intentions are admirable. Not so with conservatives.
Conservative censorship, which is fueled by Judeo-Christian morality, doesn’t worry so much about racism, which is bad. Instead they go after titties, which are good. Any PG-rated “racy” content on the airwaves must be purged, in their opinion, because it damages society as a whole. Except that there’s no proof for this, and those who are offended by the content are pissed off for the same reasons that Imams force Muslim women into those stifling burkas; in other words, they’re fucking religious prudes. We wouldn’t mind that, either, except that they assume the rest of us share the same sensitivities.
Sure, the sensitivities of all people should be respected, just not the arbitrary sensitivities. A black woman who is offended by the shit Don Imus said has, in our opinion, a more legitimate beef. After all, black women are consistently insulted in American media, and those insults are a symptom of the plight of black women in America. Christians, however, are mad because they don’t like tits, a view which they accepted. No black woman, nor any other minority, had a hand in what sort of life they would have when they were born; a black woman was born black, and thus born a victim of racial injustice in America. Christians choose to be Christians. Their sensitivities are arbitrary because if they loosened up, got laid, and watched more porn, they wouldn’t get so pissy about sexy commercials.
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