Sexist stereotyping is a two way street. Consider one night stands, those often vilified sexual encounters that provide one with a whole new perspective on the uses of public bathrooms, and how the prudes among us disapprove of them. Men who engage in one night stands are viewed as sex bandits taking advantage of otherwise puritanical girls who certainly never jam illegal powders up their nose whilst partying at the bar. Women who search for random booty are, insanely, assumed to be skanks with no dignity, who willfully fall victim to the prevalent sexist culture. (Let’s not forget about homosexuals, who, according to mainstream thought, have sloppy 20-person orgies and dry-hump animals in deviant sex-pervert-terrorist-AIDS clubs in San Francisco.) This is really gay, mainly because in all this disapproving madness, one great truth is lost: Casual sex can be totally super awesome.
Well, it can be. Please don’t assume we’re applauding or condoning a “sex without consequences” approach. We’re not. Everyone is aware of STDs and the inherent risks of casual sex, so we’re not going to waste our time on that subject. Instead, let’s talk about how that casual, random sex might be totally awesome for you, but not so totally awesome for the other person(s) involved. For example, fucking in a public bathroom can be fun. However, fooling an emotionally needy person into putting their hand down your pants is a tactic practiced only by the douchebaggiest people. Promising a fragile person that the two of you will have a serious and committed relationship after you lube each other up and reenact the Kama Sutra page-by-page when you have no intention of doing so is an action that, we at Liberating Porn believe, should be balanced out on the karmic spectrum with you, the douchebag, finding yourself in a bathtub in one of the more adventurous neighborhoods in Brazil with one of your kidneys missing.
Little bastard has no idea what's coming to him.
Most of the time, one can spot an emotionally fragile person. We strongly suggest that you don’t engage in casual sex with this person. Not only do you risk stomping on that person’s already trampled psyche, but you also risk your own well being. You might bang an emotionally fragile person by accident; as I’ve spent a lot of time doing drugs and drinking liquor to excess, I can personally attest to this. From time to time, you might wonder how your genitals, for lack of a better phrase, found themselves inside of that Enya fan who bursts into tears every ten minutes and considers any sexual contact to be a spiritual connection that binds the two of you together in some wacky New Age union. Should you explain to this person, post-coitus, that you don’t want any spiritual connections and you’re probably not going to add them as a friend on Facebook, expect to have a few stressful incidents later on. I’m not going to say that you’ll end up as the basis of a Lifetime movie, but…
Before engaging in casual sex with anyone, you should lay down the ground rules. If you’re a commitment-phobic type, let your fuck-buddy know that. Don’t be an ass and lead anyone on. Being blunt is good thing in this situation, which is odd, because when trying to get laid, being blunt is usually considered a bad thing. For instance, when you want to fuck someone, strolling up to said someone and saying, “Hey there, I wanna knock boots,” isn’t such a good idea. We at Liberating Porn find this extremely odd and chalk it up to general human retardation. But when banging a random person, the best way to insulate yourself from any douchebaggery or possible late night visits from obsessed maniacs is to simply state, “This doesn’t mean that we’re a couple.”
Never casually bang anyone whispering to a flower.
Yet this won’t always work. Some people are inclined to believe that sexual contact does indeed create a lifelong bond. Hell, we guess it does. When you see someone on the street that, three months ago, donned a furry suit and whipped you with a power cord, that encounter is sure to unearth some emotions (possibly emotions that lead you to burning your clothes while crying uncontrollably in the bathroom). But the extent of this bond and what it means is up to you and the person(s) involved in the sexual encounter. If the other person misreads your intentions (even after you explain yourself), you should still refrain from any douchebaggery. Don’t be a dick; let your admirer down easy. Continue to explain that you don’t want a serious relationship and, if possible, try to stay on friendly terms. And for the love of God, should you find yourself drunk and horny in the middle of the night, don’t attempt a booty call with this person because that will lead him or her to believe that you really do want a serious relationship. We all find ourselves in this situation at one point or another and, honestly, the writers at Lifetime have to get their ideas somewhere.
Forget the prudes and idiots who equate sexual activity, especially casual sexual activity, with the destruction of the world’s moral fiber. Those types will always believe that casual sex will lead to droves of deviants marauding across small town America with bare genitalia and Planned Parenthood coupons while planning to hurl flaming baby corpses at wholesome mega churches before morphing into a giant porn monster that may or may not have been created by stem cells.
Ignore these people. Casual sex, if conducted with respect and honesty, can truly be the shit. Just remember that while you may see a bone session in the more shadowy areas of your local bar as a fun-filled encounter with few strings attached, your lover-for-the-moment may see the situation differently. It’s your responsibility to state your intentions.
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