Dear readers, we at Lib Porn would like to pose this question to you: How often do male soldiers and female soldiers fuck in the battlefield or barracks? Probably not often, as we rarely see any such cases on the news (Although sexual abuse within the military should be addressed, we’re talking about consensual sex here). Yet our armed services allow men and women to serve together. Given the non-booty-having state of the American military, it’s nothing less than prejudice and bigotry that keep homosexuals from serving openly in the service.
Don't worry, rednecks: These hunky soldiers are from Brazil. But they could still kick your ass.
During his State of the Union, Obama said he was going to attempt to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, that ass backward and retarded Democrat-spawned ninny law that every Democrat’s favorite president, Bill “Watch Me Gut The Poor and Working-Class Even Further” Clinton, loved so much. Sure, it allowed gays to serve in the military…kind of. If they wanted in, they had to pretend they weren’t gay. (Mind you, if a gay soldier let anyone, even their family, know they were knocking boots with the same sex, that person could out them to the military and the homosexual would be kicked out. It’s happened. A lot.)
Given that sex in the military among men and women isn’t a problem, it’s doubtful that gay sex would be a problem. In a lot of ways, servicemen are in the same situation as prison inmates in the sense that it’s really tough to get laid by the opposite sex. Otherwise heterosexual prisoners get around this obstacle by fucking other prisoners in the ass. Heterosexual soldiers don’t engage in such activity, or at least not that often, as far as we know. If a lack of booty doesn’t force them to become meat packers or chase hot female soldier tail, why do so many politicians and military leaders think homosexuals would be any different?
Because they think all gays look like this. Although Freddy Mercury could kick their asses as well. Or at least make a supersonic man out of you. Whichever comes first.
Why, it’s because they’re homophobic morons, dear reader. It’s easy to see why, and we at Lib Porn don’t mean this as an insult: The military is based on alpha male culture. And it damn well better be, because I feel much more comfortable when I know that the brave men and women who are charged with protecting my sorry ass are trained, and driven, to be the baddest motherfuckers on the planet. Unfortunately, a side effect of so much alpha male posturing seems to be homophobia. In the end, nobody wants to look like a faggot.
Yet, just by the law of averages, there are homosexuals in our country that could totally kick your ass. If you’re an opponent of gays serving openly in the military, you might want to think about that, because that’s one less bad motherfucker that’ll be trained to shoot up wild Chinese communist footsoldiers when World War III breaks out. Personally, I don’t care if the GI is a cocksucker or not; as long as he or she is a responsible, respectable person capable of killing people who would like to blow me up, I’m totally going to hide behind them like the sniveling bitch ass that I am.
At its core, the argument against homosexuals in the military is dubious and prejudiced. The argument, no matter how you break it down, states that soldiers who are openly homosexual will somehow be different than heterosexual soldiers. Yes, we’re aware of the argument that gay soldiers will make hetero soldiers uncomfortable, but ya know what? We’re sure that racist white soldiers were awfully uncomfortable serving alongside of the first integrated black soldiers.
There are those who believe that gays are homosexual by choice. They’ll say, “It’s not really prejudice to be against gays serving openly in the military because they choose to be gay.” For argument’s sake, let’s assume that gay people are homosexual by choice and their sexual preference makes heterosexual soldiers uncomfortable. Well, let’s not forget that it wasn’t that long ago that religious prejudice was more out in the open (and still is, considering the opinions on Islam held by many very, very, very ignorant Americans). Weren’t there Protestant soldiers who didn’t feel comfortable in the barracks with a Catholic? Weren’t there Catholics uncomfortable serving with Jews? No matter what religion you identify with, you practice out of choice. It would be wrong to expel Islamic soldiers from the American military and, similarly, it’s wrong to expel and exclude openly gay individuals from serving their country. Imagine the uproar across Middle America if a fundamentalist Christian was kicked out of his unit for making his fellow soldiers uncomfortable.
"I'm terrified of any dick that isn't my own! Shriek!"
The military has been facing difficulties in recruitment. Young people don’t seem too keen on dropping democracy bombs on crappy countries these days. I, for one, think those recruiters and generals should stop fucking whining about a drop in recruitment rates when they deny openly gay men and women the chance to serve their country.
Submachine gun skills are more important than where you put your dick...unless you put your dick in the submachine gun.
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