If you’ve paid even fleeting attention to this site, you’ll notice that we sometimes use the word “Liberating” (especially in our title). Yet we rarely explain just what Liberation is.
When we speak of Liberation and Liberating yourself, we’re talking about cutting out the bullshit. The bullshit, we believe, is the collective dishonesty, ranging from the lies within society to the facade of some douchebag’s cute little image, of everything imaginable. For instance, a 19-year-old fruitcake decorating himself as a super scary vampire lord on his Myspace page is just as much bullshit as an alpha male frat faggot date raping a passed-out girl, which is also just as much bullshit as the hypocrisy-fueled political retardation that largely stems from the ego and stupidity of countless idiots.
We use pornography and sex as a medium to convey our love of Liberation, mainly because so much falsified mud is slung at the adult industry and the people working within it. Sure, it’s very easy to claim that the porn industry is full of meth-addicts and easily manipulated rape victims fucking for their next crack hit, but it isn’t true. Anti-porn feminists make dubious claims about porn’s role in sexism while conservatives swear that the dissolution and morally corrupt state of the American family is predicated on Dad cranking one out when Mom’s asleep. Porn is, as we’ve said many times, an easy target. This is because so many of us are prudes, even if we don’t like it, at least some of the time. Nobody wants their genitals to be scrutinized, unless you have wonderful genitals, and even then, you don’t want that shit falling into public view at the wrong time.
Sex embarrasses people, therefore it’s easy to attack. Leaping to defend porn is like defending your own sexuality, and despite any gains we as Americans have made in the realm of sexual freedom, most of us turn red while speaking on any topic that could result, in theory, in someone turning around and saying, “How often do you masturbate, weirdo?”
Sex and porn are breeding grounds for honesty. You can’t lie about how big your dick is when you’re sticking it into someone else and that scares people because people like to lie. We contend that if humans are honest about their genitalia and what they want to do with it, they’ll have an easier time being honest about everything else.
Our ideas of Liberation have very little to do with the trite and vague uses of the term we hear so many hippies use. Liberation is not running around a field with a flower covering your dick, nor is it sitting in a commune with emaciated rich kids in search of enlightenment while playing acoustic guitars and thanking Christ that mom and dad have such a robust bank account because, holy shit, after I’m done with this hippie stuff, I have to get a job.
Liberation isn’t exactly political. While we lean to the left on a lot of issues, we only do so because we’ve thought critically and logically about our views. Liberation isn’t shouting into a bull horn about the horrors lab tests on monkeys. A Liberated person would, instead, think about the pros and cons of the needles they’re sticking into Curious George, and whether or not the decision to do so is a moral one. One Liberated person might say, “No, don’t jam a needle into the monkey’s eyeballs,” while another might say, “Fuck it, go ahead because that test might cure cancer.” Being Liberated isn’t about your answer, it’s about how you approach the question.
Mostly, Liberation lies in how you view yourself. Sure, a guy might look at himself and say, “Wow, I’m a fucking bad ass and all-around awesome person,” but if this guy is judging himself on the basis of what he wears, what girls he fucks, and how much money he has, he’s probably just a douchebag in denial. And we can’t blame people like that; Americans dig fancy shit that enhances our appearance more than anyone else. Your dick doesn’t have to be huge as long as your Benz hints that it is. If a chick is a political loudmouth, let’s say an anti-porn protester, she should look past any image she built for herself because in the end, that chick’s really just trying to censor someone else. She won’t say this (few anti-porn types will) because she’s dishonest.
Liberation is basically that: Honesty. Those who are honest with themselves, we believe, are more fun to be around and, in most cases, more fun to jump into bed with, especially if you’re doing so on camera…for money…with three other butt-naked honest people. But hey, we’re biased. We are, however, honest about our bias, so that means you’d probably want to fuck us, or possibly punch us in the face. If you become an honest, Liberated person, you must be prepared for both, although most of the time people will want to punch you in the face before they want to fuck you.
For more on Liberation, go to your local library and ask the hottest person working there to have sex with you on a pile of Glenn Beck books.
- Chip & Mitch 2009
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